Tuesday 14 February 2017

Our Small Li'l World Chapter III: The Blessing

Chapter III: The Blessing
Vihaan

How will you feel if you meet someone with whom you can speak everything that has happened in your life till date? How will you feel if you can meet someone with whom you do not even require time to open up? How will you feel if you can meet someone who instantly gives you a sense of déjà vu? I had the same feeling meeting Ahana that day.

From once a very talkative Vihaan in my childhood, I had transformed to become a good listener instead. I don't know why but I stopped sharing much with people leaving most of the things to myself. But in the journey I made a lot of friends because they always found me to be the reliable one with whom they can share everything, the one with whom they need not worry about being judged or get conscious and the one with whom they can find solutions to their emotional problems. That’s how my inclination towards psychology and personal counselling grew. But there was a vacuum that was created in my Life that nobody had filled. There were not many people with whom I would share every detail of my Life, literally none. Most of the times, my thoughts and emotions would find solace within me.

I don’t know why that night I got a random thought to search Ahana’s name on Facebook search panel. I think that was the best thing I did in recent times. Ahana Garadi, Ahana Ruth Pinto, Ahana Choudhury, Ahana Prabhakar and finally there was Ahana Deekshith which caught my attention. When it was Ahana, my happiness knew no bounds. My best moment of Life had a new replacement. We both chatted for 6 hours straight that night and we instantly connected with each other. After that day, there was no looking back and our chats never stopped. During the course I only realized that this was something beyond what I had always envisaged. She is definitely not someone who should just be a chapter of my life. She is the one who should be in every chapter of my Life.

When you are so well connected to a person and you know that the feeling is mutual, there will be no fear. Your mind will only know peace. Our feelings were so pure and the relationship built was so crystal clear that there was no fear of rejection or fear of being friend zoned. We were in a relationship and to be frank there was nothing like a proposal that happened between us. I still remember that day. I had met with a small accident. Ahana was calling me once every hour to check if everything was fine. She was constantly asking me, “Could you not be a bit careful? Could you not see the red signal instead of going ahead and meeting with the accident? I don't know why you still have not seen a doctor” and I immediately told her, “I don’t know if I could have seen all those but I definitely see a lot of love in your words.” She just smiled and that spoke everything. It was so natural that there was no need for one person to break the ice and give it a different name and a new beginning.  No kneeling down, no roses, no chocolates, no gifts and no ring exchange and yet it was very special.

We completed two years of our relationship last December and I don’t know how time flew. If I am a blessed man then she is my blessing. There was one incident which still astonishes both of us till date. One night I suddenly woke up from my sleep at 2.30 AM or so with a very bad feeling and lot of unrest in mind. I did not know what was causing so much of unrest in me. It was as if something was pulling me from my sleep. I switched on lights and then checked my Whatsapp for any messages from her. To my surprise, she was online and her status suddenly changed to ‘typing’ and again to ‘online’. Still there was no text from her. When I realized, she wanted to share something but is apprehensive that she would disturb my sleep and is erasing the same, I texted her and she called me back.

Ahana had a cyst in her stomach which was not life threatening but which used to cause her unbearable pain almost once every week. It was something that would dissolve automatically. She called me and asked, “Hey how do you know that I needed you the most during this time?” and I told her, “When I told you I will be with you when you needed me the most, I just din’t tell it. I meant it.” I would be thinking this is what actually caused the unrest and woke me up. This had happened many a times with both of us. I used to feel so helpless that I am not able to do anything when she was suffering from so much pain. I used to try diverting her mind by telling random stuff. But even by doing it I have cried silently so many times that I am not with her at that moment to take care of her. But these incidents have always astonished both of us thinking about the depth of our connection.

As we were in different cities, meeting each other was definitely not regular. But long distance relationship never became a hindrance as we were so connected that the distance of 1490 Kms between Bangalore and Ahmedabad never mattered. We made it a point to meet up on every anniversary and each other’s birthday. I used to take a morning flight to Ahmedabad and meet her in the airport. We used to spend the whole day together. We used to go to a restaurant, a mall, a local eating joint, a fair and I would take the evening flight back to Bangalore. She used to accompany me till the airport in the cab so that we don’t miss even a small opportunity of being together.

My day would get complete only when I finally tell her about my day. She was one person who would bring out whatever was inside me. I used to listen to people’s problems all day and sometimes I used to get very disturbed. Sometimes I had no solution to many problems. I used to discuss a few problems with Ahana and many a times she had come out with solutions so simple that I had never thought of. It was as if we are always together even though we weren’t. It was obviously she who was the one with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had small dreams, high ambitions and an expectation of a very good life together.  

When we discussed about our marriage with our parents, initially there was a sense of disbelief and apprehension in them. Both the families met in my house in Bangalore and discussed. After two to three rounds of discussion to convince them on how sure we both were about this relationship, they agreed. They were fully not convinced because we belonged to different castes, had different cultures and were from different communities. But we were sure we will live in such a way that they eventually do not regret their decision of getting us married. The wedding date got fixed and it was in Bangalore.

During the process of marriage, the families got closer. The marriage preparations were happening in full swing. Ahana had just a few of her friends to invite but I had a lot of friends to be personally invited. We both had taken a month off for the wedding. We ensured that for all our close friends, we both personally meet and invite them for our wedding. It was enjoyable as for the first time we had got time to travel different places to invite all those dear ones. As the days neared, there was less anxiety and more peace. It was very different from what everyone had told me about the wedding day. There was no fear, less anxiety and very less uncertainty in mind as there was a lot of peace and happiness that had settled in. Even Ahana felt it the same way.

It was our wedding day. I finally felt so delighted looking at the board “Ahana weds Vihaan” coming up. It was the dream we both saw from the past two years. It was like a fairy tale ending to our story. As the near and dear ones came to the reception, there was so much happiness all around. There was classical music in the background to soothe everyone’s heart. Sister Jessica who had come up to greet told us, “I have seen you guys from school. Maybe you were destined to be together. Really very happy for you. Jesus, bless these children” and we took her blessings. It was the day when we got to meet a lot of friends, colleagues and family members together. Though tiring, we had to save all our energy for the big day coming up the next day.  

The wedding ceremony was as per traditional Iyer customs as per Ahana’s family wishes. It had more rituals than what we had. I had already spent more than an hour chanting shlokas and performing rituals that the priest was directing me to. Finally I saw Ahana entering the mantap in her wedding attire. She was looking gorgeous in her saree that I could not take my eyes off her. There were so many things running in my mind that moment. I felt like we had come a long way before making this happen. I felt she is my girl and my better half from now on. I felt I now have a wonderful responsibility of taking really good care of her. I felt so satisfied and grateful about my life that moment.

As she sat on her father’s lap and it was time for the mangalsutra, I could see tears in her eyes. I so badly wanted to hug her that moment but I couldn’t. Finally I put the mangalsutra around her neck with the nadaswaram being played in the background. At the same time I tied another turmeric thread around her neck and at that moment we both looked at each other and just smiled. That smile had thousands of words. I can never forget that smile on her face. It was such a priceless moment. We walked the seven steps around the sacred fire in order to begin our journey of innumerable steps, countless memories and an unknown path.

            When every thing was over by evening and we both just sat on the scattered chairs I asked Ahana something that had probably given her the shock of her life and left her shivering. I asked her, “What if I now tell you that I am not the Vihaan whom you were searching for all those years?”
      
          -Naveen S N

*Chapter IV dates announcing soon*


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